WordPress? Why not?

Hello guys! Come to think of it, it’s my first ever blog! So please bear with me, I’m not very good at this. I’m just a mere beginner here. Stop the chitchat, read on and enjoy!

wordpress-logo

WordPress got me like WOW, as in ‘awesomeness’ is the best word to describe it. This was just introduced to me by my classmate also my friend. He noticed that I am into writing specifically poems and he said that I should try WordPress and BOOM! I started my own blog and it’s super fun! I fell in love with writing, everything my heart wanted to say was just typewritten and it’s very heart warming. The utter presence of my website being up is more than the definition of happiness for me.

Actually, I got a hard time finishing the look on my blog because it feels like a little bit dull with no pictures and interesting things posted. That’s why I started writing this. The very reason of starting a blog is sharing my thoughts with you guys! And also, writing is my passion, it fuels my soul with just merely happy vibes.

How about you guys?

What pushed you to start your very own blog? Just for fun or it’s more like passion driven because of curiosity?

– Nicole ❤

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Chaos in my Mind

I’m in the point of my life wherein I just wanted the things going on to end. I badly need a break.

A sea of disappointment is drowning me in this time of my life. Why? Why all of a sudden?

The past days are filled with happiness and yet after that short while here comes all the struggles I don’t want to exist. Who on earth wanted her life to be filled with struggles, right?

The people around me are very disappointed in us. We did our best. We did our very best, we swear it. And yet it was never enough.

Bad comments instead of motivational words came rushing to us like a snow ball from a mountain top ready to kill us in just a split second.

Why is a time like this happens? When everything seems right but after being happy, the world seems slowly crumbling down in a sink hole with immeasurable depth.

All the people that served as our mentors are already giving up on us. How would we continue our journey as students if they don’t hold our hands anymore?

But I realized that reality definitely sucks. This happens because maybe after this freaking rain there comes a colorful rainbow. How I wish it will come soon. Very soon.

I wanted to give up. But nah, it will not change the situation anyway, it stays the same.

All we need to do is continue having faith in God. He knows everything, He has plans to give us such lessons that will be treasured for sure forever.

I hope that soon everything will be okay.

I. super. damn. hope. that. this. will. end.

Bitaw Na

Hi guys! It’s been awhile since I last posted, so here’s another poem in Filipino language. Promise, I’ll post an English poem soon hihi. Hope you’ll like it. All the love.

Para sa mga taong wala ng ibang nagawa kundi bumitaw sa mga kamay na matagal hinawakan. Mga sumuko sa ngalan ng pag-ibig.


 

Saan nga ba tayo nagsimula?
sa pagkakaibigang di inaasahan?
o sa isang ‘hello’ na batian

Naaalala ko pa ‘nun, mag-isa ko sa kwarto
kinausap mo ko sabay sabing ‘kain tayo’
Napangiti ako
‘dun ata nagsimula ang pagkakahulog ko sa’yo

Tandang-tanda ko ‘nun
Gabi-gabi tayo nag-uusap
walang humpay na kwentuhan
walang katapusang paghulog ko sa kailaliman

Ngunit nagbago ang lahat
Nakilala mo siya
ang babaeng makakapukaw ng atensyon mo
ang atensyong matagal ko ng gusto

ang sakit sakit pala
unti-unting nadudurog ang puso kong nag-iisa
para kong nalulunod
sa pagmamahal ko sa’yong kailanman di ako makakaahon

Pero sa tingin ko, titigilan ko na
saan pa ang pagtakbo patungo sa’yo
kung una pa lang, nasa kanya na ang tropeyo

Aanhin pa ang pagsugal
kung sa una pa lang, talo na ako

Aanhin pa ang paglapit sa’yo
Kung sa una pa lang, may distansya ng naglalayo

Ititigil ko na
Hangga’t maaga
kahit mahirap
kahit masakit
kahit parang di kaya

Mahal, bibitawan na kita

Kasi para saan pa ang mga kamay ko, kung iyang mga kamay mo ay nakahawak na sa kanya?

 

-atarahxx ❤

Wag muna

So here’s another poem but in Filipino language. I wrote this a long time ago so I’ll share it with you guys. Hope you like it. All the love.

Para sa mga taong nagmahal lang naman pero umabot talaga sa puntong sobra nang nasasaktan. Para ito sa inyo, mga nabihag ng salitang pag-ibig.


 

Teka, sandali
wag mo muna kong iiwan
Hayaan mo munang tayo’y magtagal
ng higit pa sa iilang mga buwan

wag ka munang aalis
sapagkat puso ko’y pinapatibok mo
ng sobrang bilis

Wag mo muna kong bibitawan
sa mga kamay mong
kapag hawak ko’y, puno ng kaginhawaan

Wag mo muna kong papakawalan
sa mga bisig mong
habang buhay doon ko gustong manahan

Wag mo muna akong sabihan
ng mga salitang
kailanma’y ayaw kong malaman
at lubos na mapakinggan

Wag mo munang sirain
ang mga pangakong
matagal kong pinanghawakan

Wag mo munang hatiin
ang puso kong
ikaw lang ang mithiin

Parang awa mo na, mahal
wag muna

Hindi pa ako handa
na masaktan ng sobra
sa di ko inaakala

Hindi pa ako handa
na malimutan ka
at malamang
may kapiling kang iba

Hindi pa ako handa
na lumuha ng walang tigil
dahil sa paglisan mo

Pero alam kong aabot sa puntong iyon
na magsasawa ka sa akin

na hindi na ako ang magiging dahilan
ng iyong matatamis na ngiti

Kaya mahal, hiling ko lang
Wag muna
hayaan mo muna akong maging masaya.

 

-atarahxx ❤

She

Hey guys! It’s been awhile so here’s another poem I wrote a long time ago. Hope you like it. All the love.

For girls who are worthy of everything.


 

Darling, close your eyes

For it mirrors your dark soul

 

Her short black hair

sways with the strong swirling air

 

Her brown talking eyes

pierced souls of guys

 

Her radiant smile

that allows flowers to bloom

 

Her writing through poems

are very heart warming

 

Her aura is made of fantasies

roses, poetries, and galaxies

 

She’s one of a kind

In a sense that people around her were blind

 

Unable to notice her undeniable beauty

and her powerful personality.

 

-atarahxx ❤

Kaibigan Lamang

Hey guys! It’s been a long time since I last posted. So here’s another poem that you might like. All the love.


 

Isa lang naman ang gusto kong marinig mula sa’yo

ang mga katagang

alam kong magpapatibok ng mabilis

sa nangungulila kong puso

 

Iyon ang mga salitang

“Oo, gusto rin kita”

kaso paano ko maririning iyon

kung ang mga mata mo ay sa iba nakatuon

 

Mahal, ang tagal ko nang gustong marinig iyon mula sa’yo

Ngunit paano?

Sa iba nakapangalan ang puso mo

Sa iba nakayakap ang mga bisig mo

 

Masakit mang isipin

Pero kailangang tanggapin

na isa lamang akong babaeng

nakatago sa dilim

 

Sino nga ba ako sa’yo?

Isa sa mga libong babaeng nangangarap na mapasa’yo

at mapasakamay sa mga kamay mong

sobra kong iniidolo

 

Sa halip na gawin ang lahat

para ikaw ay mapasaakin

Maghihintay na lamang ako

Sa araw na iyong mapagtatanto

 

Na hindi siya ang babaeng kailangan mo

kundi ang babaeng palaging nasa tabi mo

at iyong babae na tinutukoy ko

ay walang iba kundi ako.

 

– atarahxx ❤

Eyes

This is for people who pretend that everything is okay but it’s definitely not.

This is my very own spoken word poetry about myself. I hope you’ll like it. All the love.


 

When you see me with just your eyes looking,

You will not know the universe inside of me hiding

 

The universe wherein,

You are not allowed to explore

For the reason that

You might get stuck when you reach the core

 

The universe living inside of me

Is a monster

It is invading my system

Like a spreading cancer

 

Everyday

Every. Single. Day.

I’ve been luring with this monster

Saying,

Whispering,

“You are not worthy, you don’t deserve anything”

 

I’ve been having a hard time getting up in the morning

Because my breakfast

Are the doubts continually

Running inside my head

 

 

That this day,

I might fail

I might get a low grade in my quiz

I might hurt somebody with the things I will say

Or the things I will make

 

I’m afraid

Afraid in every little detail of me

 

Afraid that I will be rejected

Afraid that I will make a mistake

Afraid that I will never be good enough

Afraid that everybody will leave me behind

 

Those thoughts are enveloping my universe inside

 

It drowns my soul

It drowns me that every time I wanted to swim

I’ll always end up sinking

 

This dark, dark side of me

Is the truth that

even though I’m smiling outside

even though I’m laughing at times

Even though sometimes I’m being carefree

Even though sometimes, you, the people I love see me, happy

But all of you don’t know,

That this girl speaking in front of you

 

Is craving for hugs because

Every night she cries herself to sleep

 

This girl needs love,

But she thinks people don’t allow it to be given to her

 

All she wanted was the problems to go away

But those always stay

 

She may be smiling

But she was dying,

Bleeding,

Her heart has been shattering

Inside.

 

And none of you knows that.

 

She is just

Wanting attention

Wanting no comparison

Wanting no set standards

Wanting the word perfect

To be just a word

But does not need to be proven.

 

She’s that girl,

Happy at the outside

Broken on the inside.

 

But, still fighting bravely

In this war called life

 

Still, hugging positivity

Instead of dwelling on negativity

 

So please,

I have one request

Don’t just look at me,

With those judging eyes

 

Look at me as a girl,

Who’s struggling inside

But continues to fight

 

Look at me as a girl,

Who’s not perfect

But always

Always

Tries to prove herself.

 

Look at me as a caterpillar,

That soon,

Anytime soon,

Will be a butterfly.

 

Look at me with the look evident in your eyes,

That you understand me,

Understand every flaw,

Every piece,

Every imperfection

Of me.

 

Because this is me.

You have nothing to do but accept the reality,

That I am me.

I am Nicole.

 

Date Created: August 19, 2017

-atarahxx ❤

Questions Left Unanswered

Hi guys! Here’s another poem that I had created a long time ago and I’m gonna share it with all of you. Hope you like it. All the love.


 

Would you care if I say goodbye

or you would just look at me in the eye?

How despicable of you to treat me this way?

You always ruin my day

 

How can I unlove you

when you make my heart not blue?

How stupid of me to fall for your trap

and left me hanging in a bubble pop

 

I miss you, honestly

but let me ask you, do you even miss me?

Or you’re just happy with somebody?

I’m so lonely and yet you’re so full of glee

 

I can’t even stare at your face now

But the last time it felt like wow

I’d love your dazzling smile

But I only witnessed it for awhile

 

Thank you for giving me bliss

in a quite short time

Even though it felt like a quiz.

Am I the one to blame?

 

Is it my fault to fall for you?

Or is it a chance to break every piece of me

that you won’t even fix with a glue

You unlocked me into chains and doesn’t let me free

 

All this time I’m locked in a golden cage

So full of disappointment and rage

How did you do this to me?

You left me in the sea drowning unhelplessly

 

Date written: November 20, 2016

 

-atarahxx ❤